To the mum wondering how I do it all…

I went to Costa today, with my kids and then for a business meeting – it was amazing. While there a fellow Mum I don’t know that well came over & asked “how are you coping with it all, how do you do it all?”. My answer was Oscar worthy, “oh well its hard but you just cant get down about it, the kids are amazing, and my husband is incredible, and were totally FINE right now“. I thought it was convincing enough, she bought it and we carried on chatting. I drank more coffee, then I read that Daily Fail article bashing instamums (cringe) and calling them slummy mummies & then I pulled out my trusty laptop and started writing. This is a long one!!!

Lots of people ask me “How do you do it all”, in varying tones from complimentary to judgemental. It comes with the territory of being a prolific instagram poster (not an ‘instamum’, I only have 169 followers to over 1000 posts 🙁 ), sharing everything on Facebook & having 5 kids.

Most of the time my answer is as above (a bit of a lie) or one of the following;

–   ‘Oh I don’t do it all, you should see my house, its a disaster”
–   ‘Well I don’t know any different so this is just my life’
–   Or my best one,  “mate Im so jacked up on illegal painkillers I don’t even know my own name, let alone if Im coping”. I thought that was funny a.f. but the people I was talking to were horrified and looked like they wanted to call child services. Sidenote – I am jacked up on painkillers but they are Panadoll and I got them in Supervalu which really pisses me off because in England Paracetamol is about 15p and I have to pay €1.73 a packet here #firstworldproblems

This is how I actually “do it all” and what I should really say but never do.

I only share photos of the clean-ish parts of my house or the cutest/cleanest kid, or really nice natural style photos captured ‘in the moment’. This dupes people into believing I’ve got my shit together and didn’t just spend 5 minutes shouting “get in the photo, smile, look happy, these photos will mean a lot to you when you are older” at my disinterested 11 year old. Or I share real photos of real life with mildly amusing captions which some of my 169 followers like but others find really boring.

A meal plan and schedule save my sanity and help me through the week, most of the time. Some weeks we eat really healthy food and some weeks we have lots of fish fingers. Its called balance. Most Fridays I drink something fizzy, Champagne or a Martini & Lemonade are my favourites because I’m classy like that. The best Fridays are when drinks are consumed with friends, an insane old school soundtrack and a cheeky fag- I need these nights to remind me who Clare actually is (I am gonna quit my social smoking though, promise Mum).

Some nights I let the kids sleep in my bed because I think its healthy to have a family bed where everyone feels close and feels loved. I kind of like some of the attachment parenting theory so go with it.  Right now Im actually sleeping downstairs in my office so can hear my children’s little voices upstairs at bedtime & I lay and have a little pity party about what a shitsit (shit & situation married together, new word, its awesome, thank me later) we’re currently going through & vow to wake up and squeeze everyone extra tight in the morning.

Other nights I make the kids go to bed by 7pm because I need to sit and watch an ‘adult film’ (any film thats rated over a 12 – not that sort of adult film) and have some physical space between me and my children. Some nights the kids take themselves off to their own beds because they too need space. Recently Im not ashamed to admit I’ve used my leg to tag myself out of family life and go and listen to zen music in my room and sleep.

little throwback photo to a year ago. I have this in my room/office. It reminds me Im lucky. It reminds me to work hard so I can have more beach days.

Everywhere I go I I carry a notebook with my goals written it it, in the present tense as if Ive already achieved them. Whenever Im having a ‘holy fuckballs why did I think trying to raise kids, a business & deal with a broken knee was going to be ok?!’ moment, I read the entire notebook page by page. I don’t know how or why but it helps.

Every single morning the first thing I do is write in a gratitude journal. People I tell this to usually think its whacko, but I don’t really care. One day when Im dead my kids are gonna clear out the house & find all these pages of gratitude statements and be like “Mum was grateful for my spark and sprit – wtf does that mean?”. It is too easy in life to think about the negative, this helps set my day up to be a positive one.

That is how I do it. Those are some of my coping mechanisms. Now you know 😉

When you become a parent you just do your best, thats all any of us can do. Wouldn’t it be great if instead of trying to hold each other to account of ‘doing it all’ or, in the case of the Daily Mail today pointing fingers at the mums apparently NOT doing it all,  we said ‘high five for doing your best today’? I think it would. We should all try and be a little more like our drunken selves in pub toilets – complimentary and real, instead of questioning and a little bit fake. I hope this long ass post gives an insight to ‘how I do it all’, or that you relate to some of it, or even laughed at bits. If not then I don’t really want to know to be honest 😉 next time you see me just high five me!

Congratulations if you made it to the end of this – its a blinking essay!!!! As usual you can find me on Facebook or Instagram (with my 169 followers. Crushing it).

403 thoughts on “To the mum wondering how I do it all…

  1. g now says:

    It’s difficult to find well-informed people in this particular topic, however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about!

  2. him g says:

    I got this site from my pal who shared with me on the topic of this web page and
    now this time I am visiting this site and reading very informative posts at this time.

  3. PatrickSkype says:

    ксион кэш, xion сайт, xion cash Россия, ксион кэш заработок, xion cash promotion, xion не платит, xion cash Россия, ксион пирамида, ксион кэш СНГ, ксион кэш заработок

  4. says:

    Link exchange is nothing else but it is only placing
    the other person’s web site link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do same in support of you.

  5. cbd oil that works 2020 says:

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video
    to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about,
    why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving
    us something enlightening to read?

  6. cbd oil that works 2020 says:

    Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative.

    I am going to watch out for brussels. I will be grateful
    if you continue this in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing.

  7. Shasta says:

    You’re sso awesome! I don’t believe I have read through somethung like this before.

    So nice to find someone with some unique thoughts on this issue.Seriously..

    hanks for starting this up. This web site is something that’s
    needed on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!

    Take a look at my page :: male enhancement exercises do they work – Shasta,

  8. adreamoftrains best web hosting says:

    Have you ever considered publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog based upon on the same information you discuss and
    would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my subscribers
    would appreciate your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an email.
    adreamoftrains web hosting

  9. flight search says:

    Wonderful post however , I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic?
    I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more.
    Appreciate it!

  10. Casey Wrona says:

    This is the perfect site for anyone who really wants to understand this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I actually would want toÖHaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a topic that’s been written about for decades. Excellent stuff, just excellent!

  11. web hosting service says:

    Thanks for your marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you might be a great author.I will make sure
    to bookmark your blog and will come back later on. I want to encourage you to
    ultimately continue your great writing, have a nice day!

  12. best web hosting company says:

    Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your website, how could i subscribe for a blog web
    site? The account aided me a acceptable deal.
    I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright
    clear idea

  13. cheap flights says:

    Great beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your web site,
    how could i subscribe for a blog web site? The account aided me
    a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided
    bright clear concept

  14. Vernon Hills says:

    Warning: Vernon Hills, IL and Libertyville, IL and surrounding 50 miles radius area is in active war zone ! Towns are held hostage by UK agents, Russian spies, Indian spies, Mexican spies, Chinese spies, and other Hispanic spies

  15. Shayne Strekas says:

    I’m very pleased to discover this web site. I want to to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely liked every bit of it and I have you book-marked to see new stuff in your website.

  16. Sid While says:

    Having read this I thought it was very enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this short article together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!

  17. Ross Horgen says:

    I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this site. I really hope to view the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my very own site now 😉

  18. Virgil Mayenschein says:

    Aw, this was a very nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to generate a superb article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.

  19. Tanisha Herke says:

    I’m pretty pleased to uncover this page. I need to to thank you for your time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely enjoyed every part of it and i also have you saved to fav to see new things in your web site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.